Role Reversal

I don’t know who thought makeup was a good idea, I don’t care much for him- I’m certain it was a dumb guy named Benedict. I know what you’re thinking, “Trust me, some people desperately need it.” But I’m pretty sure we’ve just conditioned ourselves as a culture to think it’s important. Kind of how each culture has a different concept of beauty. There’s a group in Thailand that likes long necks, not beer, like necks. There’s a tribe in Ethiopia that thinks body scars are super-sexy. America has its own self-imposed standards of beauty. Dang you Benedict.

I spent half a day at Clinique a few years ago learning how to do makeup. I have the patience and attention span of a toddler and inwardly pitched a fit as I was introduced to primers, lipstick, lip gloss, lip liner, foundation, powder, BB cream, blush, bronzer, mascara, eyeliner, eye shadow, and of course Clinique’s 3-step face cleansing process- it’s a racket! And concealer was invented by Satan. No wonder some women wake up with the roosters to get started. Surely long necks are easier. But, I figured it out because it mattered.

We’ve also spent some time with several different hair stylists trying to figure out the balance between a cool hairdo (because Tiff gets so hot), and one with some style. Not to mention, one that is easy for me to maintain. A tall order. I suggested a Sinead O’Conner, but it didn’t fly. Tiffanni was a hairstylist for the few years before she was diagnosed with Huntington’s. I remember the day that she graduated from hair school, we took off to Savannah in a convertible for the weekend. I had gotten tickets to a taping of the Paula Dean show because Tiff loves the Food Network and I love convertibles. I was hero for the weekend.

I’ve held out on some big girl stuff for as long as I can. I think that it had something to do with not allowing my daughters to grow up too fast, because you know, girls grow up way too fast. We don’t shave legs, do makeup, have cell phones, have boyfriends- stuff like that. But I finally gave in on makeup. Addyson starts 7th grade this fall and I thought we’d glide into this stuff with some powder and lipstick. Oddly enough, she didn’t need much of a lesson on how to do makeup because she’s been applying it for years. She learned eyeliner, powder, lipstick, blush, mascara, and eyeshadow before she was 10. Addy and Carsyn share the fun with me in doing their mom’s makeup. A break for me and a joy for them, at least when I let them experiment. Not always a great result.

My kids have grown up in some ways that I didn’t anticipate. Tiff and I used to talk about when we would let them have certain privileges, and we always agreed, later is better. I guess we are old-fashioned that way. I can only assume that usually little girls learn to do makeup from having someone do theirs, watching someone put her makeup on, or practicing on themselves- clown cheeks and wobbly lipstick smiles included. But mine received lesson one on their mom.

Carsyn didn’t understand the concept of blush at first. Layering a pink streak from lips to earlobe. But she got it. She’s patient with Tiffanni’s movements and talks gently to her, “Ok momma, open your eyes wide. Here comes the mascara.” Addyson likes hair duty more. It seems like a limitless canvas of artistic expression. I’m waiting for the day when Tiff ends up at church with dreadlocks.

So in a not-so-surprising twist, my little girls are not so little anymore. I’ve protected them from every thing that I can to keep them from prematurely advancing. But I guess Time with her deep red rouge splattered cheekbones, her water proof black mascara, and her beautifully draped and curled blowout beckons my babies onward. There’s no stopping her- not only does she stop for no one, but she expects to be all dolled up in the process.

RoleRevearsal

23 Comments for “Role Reversal”

Kayla Swanson

says:

I’ve so loved watching the girls grow up. You & Tiff raised two beautiful young ladies, both inside and out ❤️

says:

Well, now I’m a mess. Thanks for letting us in again. And for letting our hearts break alongside you, if even for a moment.

I love you, buddy.

Pat Dynkin

says:

Jeremey I am so impressed that you learned a little to help Tiffinay out and that the girls have learned so much! you are a great husband and dad! Gods great blessing!

says:

What a great dad, and husband. A man spending hours at Clinique, I nominate you for dad/ husband of the year award. Yes those babies do grow up and what a beautiful sight to see them styling their mom. They are accepting a great responsibility and making it fun and interesting. Great parenting being taught.
Prayers continuing, as always, God bless you and your beautiful family.

GINGER

says:

I love the way you love your wife. I love the way you are able to share your ups and downs a let us come into your home to laugh, cry and love. You are remarkable and so is Tiffany. So proud of the man you have become. Love your wife as Christ loved the church these are my thoughts when I read your openness. Love you dear Mrs. Ginger

Pat

says:

I don’t normally comment on Jeremy’s blog. I am the mom and therefore a teensy biased. However, I cannot let one statement go uncorrected – Jeremy has the patience of Job, a supernatural characteristic attributed to few. His dad and I comment daily on his patience and are amazed! Only God!

Morgan Dudley

says:

Jeremy, every week I can’t wait to read your blog, then I lose it! 😢 You are the definition of “better or worse.” I pray for you all everyday. Thank you for sharing and letting us all into your heart.

Wanda Pylant

says:

Again I am touched by the love of God that flows through you. Such an example to your children! Blessings to your family♥️

Janet Young

says:

Yes, daughters DO grow up way to fast! My girls are blessed to have a wonderful Daddy, too… And I DO mean blessed. So much I could say about what you are teaching your girls… And I don’t mean how to apply makeup 101! Wedding vows are just that… VOWS, patience, endurance, qualities to look for in a husband, love… And much more! I SO wish there were more men like you and like my husband… Husbands who “really get it”… It’s SO important to SHOW their girls how special they are and how special their Momma is. God bless you… Praying for your family! The greatest of these is LOVE!

Beth (Holmes) Wingate

says:

Thank you for sharing. Please tell Tiffani hello & that I am praying for her. I knew Tiffani from my college years (92-94). My old youth pastor transferred to be the youth pastor at Kingwood and I attendedKingwood while I was at Montevallo. Tiffani & I became friends. We had a great time together being silly girls. I spent the night at her house once and I was so impressed with her family. She & I took Mrs Glenda to the Galleria. Your family is amazing. I’m so moved by the strength and love of the Cox-Sims family. All of you are an inspiration. #prayers #truelove

Amanda Malone Franklin

says:

Wow Jeremy. Discovered your blog and had to immediately read every entry without stopping. Its amazing how you can make me laugh out loud and weep deeply all in the same post. You are an extremely gifted writer but even more gifted as a devoted husband, father and follower of Christ. I’m so sorry that you and sweet Tiff are having to face this unimaginable disease. I’m praying God will refresh you, give you supernatural strength and a peace that passes understanding. Love you old friend and thank you for sharing your journey.

Allison

says:

Your family’s love for one another is the true definition of beauty, overshadowing every popular, superficial standard set by our own culture & others around the world. 💜 Thank you for sharing.

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